Why Kill Bill Is A Tragic Love Story

For those of you who haven’t seen Kill Bill…(x)(x) For those of you who don’t believe Kill Bill was a tragic love story,  prepare to be convinced.

Consider the plot of the film for just one moment. “Love interest assassin girl”, falls for “pimp assassin leader guy”. Classic forbidden love story. Leader guy, I’ll just call him “Bill”, knocks up Assassin girl. (Assassin girl henceforth will be called Kiddo) Kiddo finds out she is preggers and runs away with Bills bun in here oven. Bill is totally X ( and looks for her for like, a long time.

Bill finds Kiddo getting married to some whack wanker, which really doesn’t sit well with Billy’s wittle hart. So he decides he’s going to crash the wedding with a few of his buddies. Very similar to that movie the Wedding Crashers except in Kill Bill, people died, and tears were shed.

Bill clearly loves Kiddo. Kiddo clearly <3 Bill. Love is without a doubt a huge element of this film. So I don’t really see the point in pressing this perspective. (If you disagree with me explain why?)

So instead I intend on arguing that Bill was in fact the one who was unjustly treated. (x)

It is not possible to measure or quantify the love juice inside of the two frisky ninjas. Which means I can’t say Bill’s love > Kiddo’s love. I also don’t think you can fairly argue the inverse. Instead we have to look at the actions of the individual parties and see who screwed over who.

Clearly Bill ruined Kiddo’s Big day. Which seems on the surface totally f’ed up. But why did Bill ruin her big shot gun wedding?(x)

Kiddo after finding out she was pregnant with Bill’s baby, fled. Leaving Billy boy terribly saddened in a weird “Gata don’t take no shit” kind of way. He looked for her, his tall blonde angel, only to discover that she had faked her death and run off.

Bill is feeling kind of betrayed right now. I would be too. And being that he is an Assassin, he uses the only emotional cooping mechanism he knows how to use. Which involves him getting upset and listening to an iPod full of 808 & heartbreaks songs and maybe an Eminem track(x)(x). And everybody knows what happens when you mix betrayal, sad music, and marshal arts.

Word of the day: A coup de grâce.

Surely, violence is not the answer. And I don’t mean to justify numerous accounts of murder and attempted murder. Here comes the but. BUT when you live by the sword you die by the sword.

Kiddo wasn’t a tall blonde angel. She was a killing machine who happened to fall for her boss. A boss who really really didn’t like the fact that she left him high an dry. (que Beyonce music)

Don’t even get me started on how she didn’t even give the man the opportunity to leave the Pimp/Assassin game, for her and his kid. I suppose there is a lesson to be learn in all this drama. That lesson is this: If you intend on killing people for a living, don’t have unprotected sex. Because Kids, unprotected sex can get you shot in the face.

Fan Art: (Kill Kanye)

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3 Comments on “Why Kill Bill Is A Tragic Love Story

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