Long-Distance Relationships: Do’s and Don’ts
Long distance relationships (LDRs) used to be rare, and only emanated when one of the couple was forced to relocate. However, when it comes to dating in college, LDRs aren’t all that rare. But what LDRs lack in rarity they make up for in complexity.
Between schoolwork, jobs, classes, clubs, and friends it is no suprise that distance makes relationships more difficult–especially without access to a car. Being at separate schools isn’t always easy, but some relationships are absolutely worth it. So for those of you who are planning on going the extra mile I have listed a couple things to live buy:
1. Know The Rules
All relationships have implicit and explicit rules, but the lines are often blurred when it comes to a long distance relationship. Upon embarking upon a long distance relationship, it is paramount that both parties fully understand the applicable rules governing the relationship. Are you to be monogamous? If not, what are the parameters for seeing others? Should this be kept quiet, or shared with your partner?
How long are the two of you giving the relationship to work before looking elsewhere?
Answering questions like these and having a full discussion about the parameters which guide your long distance relationship greatly increases the odds of the relationship surviving until you can truly be together in the usual sense.
2. Communication Is Key
Strong and frequent communication is important within the context of all relationships, but it becomes imperative when it comes to a long distance relationship. Daily communication is highly suggested for couples who are unable to share physical presence together. The bond within a long distance relationship can disintegrate quite quickly in the absence of frequent communication. Decades ago this would have entailed massive phone bills or tedious snail mail, but today’s communication options obviously make frequent contact quite simple and inexpensive.
Note: Skyping while studying is an easy way to feel connected but also remain productive.
3. Share Your Feelings
Open communication helps to maintain a sense of security within the long distance relationship even without the usual signals and subtle body language reassurances that you can get in the “3D world”. Just make an effort to tell her how you feel at least once a day.
4. Send Thoughtful Packages
Regularly sending personalized packages show your partner that you are thinking about him or her, and it serves to reinforce their sense of security with you. Endeavor to send them there favorite body lotions, sweets and, anything else that you thing they will enjoy. You don’t have to break the bank to be sweet. Shrewd guys can also take this opportunity to subtly include lingerie and/or sex toys which can serve to enhance your enjoyment from the “virtual” play which now universally exists within long distance relationships.
5. Plan Virtual Dates
Set aside blocks of time that are just for the two of you — without any multitasking.
Set aside blocks of time that are just for the two of you — without any multitasking. In long distance relationships, it is often easy to let him or her get lost within the mix of other online activities when chatting online, or on the phone. Set “virtual dates” with one another where they know that during that time they will be the center of your attention.
6. Don’t Jump To Conclusions
What you may view as an unacceptable comment on their Facebook page might have a good explanation.
Oftentimes, it is easy to jump to unwarranted conclusions within long distance relationships. You often do not have all the facts at hand, and just one snippet of an email or text often proves not to be the full story. This especially relates to rumors or gossip — don’t jump to a conclusion or give credence to anything you hear or read without asking them about it first. What you may view as an unacceptable comment on their Facebook page from another person might have a good explanation. Just make sure you — without prejudging the situation — give them a full opportunity to explain before you take on an accusatory tone.
7. Trust Them
People can innately sense whether you trust them or not — even if you are thousands of miles away. Make sure you give your girlfriend or boyfriend the benefit of the doubt, and don’t let your inner suspicions or insecurities prompt you to come off as untrusting — or controlling.
8. Meet Regularly In the Real World
There are obvious reasons why you desire to see each other in person. Physical intimacy is a critical component of all relationships whether long distance or not. If you are unable to see each other at least every other month, then you should seriously consider whether you wish to pursue a long distance relationship. Without these periodic times to reinforce your long distance relationship in person, you are facing an uphill battle to keep the spark within it.
9. Share Experiences
Shared experiences can serve to strengthen the bonds which can otherwise weaken within long distance relationships. An example can be reading the same book together, watching the same show or taking up the same sport or hobby. Sharing the experience together increases your bond, and it adds commonalities into your lives despite the geographic distance.
10. Everyone Loves Surprises
Use your creativity to keep them on their toes. Our generation can bore pretty easily, and this is especially so if you are not around in a physical sense. Seek to keep them intrigue and interest level high by creatively surprising them with either gifts or an unannounced visit. Your imagination is the limit here — always be thinking of ways to keep the long distance relationship fresh and exciting.
A long distance relationship is an uphill battle by definition. Extra effort has to go into it in order for it to last, and we hope the above tips can help a few HardyMag readers keep their distant girlfriends until the day they can be happily united in one locale.
Are you in a LDR? How do you cope?