To Do List Before You Commit Suicide
Before anyone commits suicide they should do all of the following.
1. Clean your living space:
Clutter is gross and a clean house always makes things better. Plus when they find your rotting carcass you don’t want people to think you were a slob.
2. Do the above while listening to extremely uplifting music
(Israel kamakawiwo’ole- over the rainbow, U2- beautiful day, A Tribe Called Quest- Can I Kick It, Pete Rock & CL Smooth – They Reminisce Over You etc.)
3. Order your favorite food to be delivered while you are cleaning.
No point in caring about calories at this point, right? This is the perfect time to get chocolate milk wasted. It’s time to all you can eat on anything sweet.
4. Put your best outfit on and go shopping
Your credit and savings aren’t going to matter when you are 6 feet deep. So shop till you drop literally.
5. Call everyone you care about and talk about your favorite moments with them
No point of being dead and angry. Forgive people, reminisce, and laugh about old times. And don’t worry about going over your minutes I can’t say it will matter much.
6. Watch your favorite movie one last time.
Not sure if this is true but I heard their isn’t Netflix or Redbox in the afterlife. Either way why not watch The Little Mermaid one last time.
7. Buy a one way ticket to a destination of choice
If you are going to off yourself you should at least be somewhere nice.
8. Watch the Sunrise
It’s not something many people do that often anymore but you should at least see the sunrise and all its splendor one last time.
9. Smoke some weed.
This last one is optional but pretty self explanatory.
But seriously if you are considering harming yourself seek help. Call a friend, family member or if you live in the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline ( 1-800-273-8255 )
Maximillian Garland | Bright Futura Columnist