8 Pets You Wish You Had in College
Like most of us, we grew up with pets at home, and watching our favorite tv shows, and reading our favorite books as our heroes grew up with fictional pets too. Now that we’re all in college, for nostalgia’s sake I’d like to list off a few fictional animals that would be perfect for any college student:
Below I have listed the top 8 pets I wish I could have in college
How badass would you be riding to class on F’N Shenron!? He can grant wishes. He’s a dragon. He can grant wishes. He can fly. HE CAN GRANT WISHES! Shenron would be one of my favorite pets to have at college.
- Wishes- from that girls number, to a spare pencil, to a 14 page essay on Native American History due the day before.
- any number of “have you seen my pet dragon” joke
- He can fly and can carry you, all your friends, and all the people who don’t like you to wherever you need to go.
- You gotta collect and keep all 7 Dragonballs in order to keep him summoned, and Vegeta might have something to say about that
- He’s big. You’d have to keep him outside cause there is no dorm big enough to contain him
- The dragon was never big on conversation, and very sarcastic.
- He’s Pikachu, a living battery. Your ipod is dying, give it to Pikachu, left your laptop charger at home, Pika-pika!
- Pokemon. Battles.
- No cleanup. Never, never in over 3,000,000 episodes of Pokemon have we seen Pickachu take a battery sized deuce.
- He’s small and easy to lose, sit on, or be taken by Team Rocket
- He’s probably not safe to use in the rain.
- If he evolves, you’re stuck with a Raichu, no one wants a Raichu
- It’s f’n Battle Cat! No one messes with Battle Cat.
- He can keep watch over your dorm/or your car while your in class
- You can be He-Man every Halloween, with Battle Cat dressed in full BAMF armor
- He’s prone to being violent….very violent
- He might eat your lunch (or roommate) then bitch you out for admonishing him afterwards
- He might eat you if you don’t regularly shout, “I have the power!”
- He can talk.
- He is wise beyond all your professor’s years. Imagine having Alsan by your side while working on an essay, he could practically write an essay for you while having one conversation with you.
- He’d make a great alarm clock. A lion’s roar at 7 am will wake you up in an instant.
- May get preachy at times, probably not the best guest at a frat party. I mean would you invite your grandfather to your parties?
- He’ll probably complain alot about needing to go back to Narnia, because it’s about to be destroyed for the 78th time.
- Aslan sheds, alot.
5. Courage Wolf /Insane Wolf
Never short on courage.
- He’s an alien with 6 arms and talks like an excited puppy
- He can surf…again…he can surf
- He has a spaceship you all can ride in
- If you’re not cool enough (meaning your not an 8 year old spunky Hawaiian girl) he might leave you
- You may have to deal with alien invasions…and finals on the same day
- If you don’t live by water, he might grow bored not being able to surf, but then you might introduce him to long boarding.
- He’s witty and fun loving.
- Usually wants to party, chill, or meet new friends = he’s a college student.
- He has lots of cool stories, Eddie Murphy’s voice, and probably some old school Eddie Murphy jokes.
- Probably smells like a donkey.
- He’s in a relationship with a dragon, so if you get caught in an argument between them you might wanna watch out
- LOUD! Not the person you want to invite to a dorm party
- You can ride him to class when you’re running late. I GUARANTEE that people will move out of the way.
- Eat a professor
- You’ll spend all of your meal plans the first few weeks of school just to feed him
- He might eat your homework
- If you have to walk him, you might need a bulldozer to dispose of his waste
Of course there are many dream pets for us to have in school. This is only a small list of the one’s I’ve made above.
What type of pet would you like to have in college?
Leon Langford | Bright Futura Columnist