Six Types of College Parents

I AM A FIRM BELIEVER THAT CHILDREN SHOULD REALLY COME WITH INSTRUCTION MANUALS. Because after we pop out into the world, it’s up to those two lucky people (let’s just call them mom and dad) to raise us in the best way they know how…and that can be quite the experiment. Especially after spending time away from home while at college, suddenly it’s easier to realize the totally awesome, weird and random things your parents really do. Between that mom and dad who seem like they’re straight out of sitcom to the parents who want to throw you a kegger on their dime, these are the six types of parents we’re left to miss while we’re away at college.

1. The Workaholic Parents

If your parents are the two busiest people you know, you haven’t seen your mom since the day she gave birth to you and your father hasn’t taken a sick day in, well, ever…then you probably have the workaholic parents. This is the mom and dad who seem to have endless to-do lists. Their Blackberries might as well be glued to their faces and, unless you have a deadline stamped on your forehead, they might fail to notice the little details in your life.

Positive: They almost certainly taught you a valuable work ethic that will serve you well in life. You can’t put a price on that.

Negative: You probably haven’t seen them since the nineties…

2. The Helicopter Parents

These are the parents who are way overprotective and probably kept you on a leash as a child. The Helicopter Parents want to know where you are, what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with…even though you might live hours away. Twice daily phone calls and weekly Skype dates are a must to keep your Helicopter Parent informed and at bay. But, beware: Miss a phone call and they might just have the campus police out searching for you (laugh now, but I’ve seen it happen).

Positive: You know they care and, clearly, you are their number one priority in life.

Negative: That ankle bracelet isn’t as comfortable as it looks…

3. The Awkward Parents

Seriously, if you have awkward parents, you know it. In your eyes, they are probably the two most socially inept people in the world. They don’t talk to anyone or (worse yet) don’t know when to stop talking when they meet your friends. You have to insist that your dad not ask people to pull his finger and you have to debrief your mom on what embarrassing stories she cannot tell at dinner. In my opinion, other people’s awkward parents are awesome. They make for the funniest stories and always serve as the perfect anecdote the next time you meet the awkward parents of someone else.

Positive: Life will never be boring.

Negative: It’s really hard to pretend you’re “not with them” when you carry their genes.

4. The Besties

OK, so must of us sort of wish that Lorelei Gilmore was our mother. For those lucky enough to have a best friend parent, it means you have a 24/7 built-in buddy. Even on those days when your friends are busy with work and classes, you can always call your mom to talk about the gorgeous boy in your finance class or beat your dad’s high score in Words With Friends. Who knew that your mom and dad could actually be cool friends, too?

Positive: Friends come and go, but your parents are forever (cheesy, but true). Befriending them is such a benefit.

Negative: Eventually, there’s going to be a time when your mom or dad just has to play the parent card and that probably won’t be a welcome change. Plus, sometimes you just simply want to talk to your mom, not your buddy.

5. The Party Parents 

You know those parents…the ones who threw the raging after-prom party and made absolutely every effort to make sure you knew they were the cool parents hosting it? This is the mom and dad who are secretly (or not so secretly) channeling Regina George’s mother in “Mean Girls” for parenting tips. Fun? Yes. Terrifying? Absolutely.

Positive: Hey, who doesn’t want to be the one with the “cool” parents?

Negative: The partying parents don’t exactly have a good grasp on responsibility and structure, which can make for poor guidance. When your mom wants to hit up a frat party with you, you should probably have a talk…

6. The Ward and June Cleaver

As we speak, your mother is probably in the kitchen whipping up something scrumptious (in pearls and a fabulous dress, of course), while your dad saunters through the door after a long day of work. The Ward and June Cleaver are the quintessential sitcom parents. They always have the perfect pep-talk to brighten your day and a lesson to teach you (complete with group hug).

Positive: They just might be the two keenest people you know. Shucks, Wally and the Beav were so lucky!

Negative: You love them, but having non-Stepford parents could be refreshing too.

What kind of crazy college parents do you have?


[By Emily Grier via USAtodayeducate]

One Comment on “Six Types of College Parents

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