How Not To Die: While Partying

No lie, it’s been a long time since I’ve been an undergraduate freshman, but now that I’m a graduate student freshman in a new school and a new state, I’m finding many parallels to then and now. To keep things interesting I will provide some sage-like advice from someone who has already graduated, in my series HOW NOT TO DIE IN COLLEGE (HOW NOT TO DIE INC):

Please Abide By These Rules While Partying:
HOW NOT TO DIE: While Partying

Bring A Designated Driver

This is a college party staple. If you know you’re going to go to a party with the goal of getting wasted, then you’re going to need a ride home. TOO many people have died attempting to drive home intoxicated. Bringing a designated driver helps set up a safe….not exactly enjoyable…ride home. If you are going with friends on regular basis, switch off and on, where one party you’re the DD, then the next one you’re friend is the DD. Most of all be smart.
If all else fails, just pass out at the party….trust me it works.

Watch What You Drink

A constant reminder of college parties is to watch what you drink. Roofies, alcohol poisoning, having something slipped in your drink are all legitimate fears, because they happen. Not often, but they happen. To take precautions against it there are a few steps you can take against it.
-Don’t accept open drinks from people you don’t know (just ask them what’s in it, then tell them you don’t drink that type of liquor)

-Keep a watchful eye on your cup as if someone is going to Penny You. (Pennying: Should someone manage to slip a penny into another person’s drink after officially announcing pennying will take place on the night, the owner of the drink must completely consume it in one go, as fast as possible.)

-MY FAVORITE- Bring your own drink. Buy a bottle, or get a flask and bring the drink to the party. Carrying a bottle around in a party is actually a good conversation starter (you never know who else likes Cheap Vodka) and turns you into everyone’s extra bartender.



Try not to go to parties alone. You can easily fall victim to one of the aforementioned warnings ( no designated driver/ not watching your drink). Find some people, or offer to someone’s DD. No relationship is built faster than by being someone’s DD.

Dorm parties
-If you’re having a dorm party. Keep it small and quiet. RA’s aren’t stupid. RA’s are students too, they know what a party smells and sounds like. Dorm parties are to be kept reasonably small, because the rooms are small (RA approved statement)!

If you pull up to the house and if you know your mom would call the police, trust me…someone’s already called the police.

House parties
-My rule of house parties. If you pull up to the house and if you know your mom would call the police, trust me…someone’s already called the police.

– If you’re uncomfortable make up a lie and leave.

House parties are the exact opposite of dorm parties, they are meant to be big and loud. Be sure to get to house parties early, the bigger the party the quicker they run out drinks. House parties are a different beast to get used to, because you have to figure out where the hell you are, who is there, what they’re serving, and why you didn’t finish your history paper before coming out.

Everybody Pukes

Drink water, and get some food in your system (fries work best).

Know your limit. If you can’t stand straight, and your stomach feels like it’s bubbling, then you’ve reached your limit. Drink water, and get some food in your system (fries work best). If you puke, be sure to puke outside, or in the bathroom, somewhere where no one will see it. If your friend pukes, be a pal, pat their back (to help them get it all up) and get them some water. If you’re friend happens to pass out after drinking, be sure to make sure they’re on their side; snoring is also a good sign that they won’t throw up on themselves.


Above all. Be safe. Drinking can always be used to spice up a party, but it can also make you do dumb things.


Leon Langford | Bright Futura Columnist


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