The Guy Who Does 5

5 Biggest Snubs of the 2012 MTV Movie Awards

Back in the day, the entertainment industry was run by dusty old white men who scoffed at the notion of motion pictures being considered both art and entertainment (unfortunately, not much has changed since then). To counteract this ludicrous notion, in 1992, MTV started their own version of the Academy Awards called the MTV Movie Awards which was completely decided by the fan’s vote. The stars were awarded Golden Popcorn trophies in place of the golden Oscar statuettes. Winners of the last 20 years have included ‘Terminator 2: Judgement Day’, ‘Pulp Fiction’, ‘Scream’, all 3 of the ‘Lord of the Rings’ films, and ‘Napoleon Dynamite.’ However, the evidence of a broken system is painfully clear when a ‘Twilight’ film has won for the fourth year in a row and looks to be the front runner for its fifth and final film next year. As I found most of the results of this year’s show particularly repulsive, I have gathered the 5 most offensive snubs and explained why other films proved more deserving of the coveted Golden Popcorn trophy.

 

1. ‘The Hunger Games’ Got Best Fight Over ‘Harry Potter’ and ‘Warrior’

Why the award should have gone to…

  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt. 2 – The fight that people had been waiting upwards of 13 years to watch on the big screen, Harry and Voldemort’s showdown was the most anticipated scene in any film in 2011.
  • Warrior – With its first major jump on to the big screen, the brutality of this mixed martial arts film is craftily juxtaposed with the deeper drama that revolves around an alcoholic father and his two embattled sons.

2. Best Kiss should have gone to… anyone but ‘Twilight’

Why the award should have gone to…

  • Crazy, Stupid, Love. – Ryan Gosling, the runner-up for People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive, smooching with Emma Stone, a.k.a. the cutest and most adorable trailblazer in Hollywood, is almost too sweet for the screen.
  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt. 2 – Ron and Hermione FINALLY kiss. Nothing else need be said.
  • The Hunger Games – While it may have been a fake kiss and necessary plot point, Katniss definitely opened up an emotional can of worms between her and Peeta that will surely play out in ‘Catching Fire.’
  • The Vow – If a Nicholas Spark’s film doesn’t have good kissing, then what does it actually have going for it?
Why Twilight should NOT have won…
  • Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn pt. 1 – Besides the fact that Edward and Bella have been kissing for the past 3 movies, they are gonna kiss again in the next movie, wedding be damned. Been there, done that (3 times already).

 

 

 

 

3. The Ambiguity over Best Gut-Wrenching Performance

 

I believe that people don’t actually know what “gut-wrenching” means, making the choice of naming an award after it an ill decision. To be fair, the definition has evolved and expanded over time. What once meant something along the lines of causing distress, nervousness and/or physical pain can now mean unbelievable, outrageous or nauseating. With that in mind…

Why the award should have gone to…

Drive – Definitely the nominee causing the most distress, Ryan Gosling’s moment of (literal) quivering rage as he strongly considers hammering a bullet into a man’s forehead is one of the heaviest moments of the film.

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol – The most daring stunt possibly ever, Tom Cruise ACTUALLY performed his high wire act in Dubai without using a stunt double or a green screen, leaving most viewers mopping the copious amounts of sweat their brow at the end of the scene.

21 Jump Street – When a man’s penis gets shot off, and then picks it up with his mouth in a pure moment of improvisation, is that disgusting or funny…? I mean I laughed, but it wasn’t my gut that was feeling unpleasant.

 

Which is more gross? Eating a poop pie in ‘The Help’ or pooping yourself in public in ‘Bridesmaids’?

 

 

 

4. Elizabeth Banks (The Hunger Games) Got Best Onscreen Transformation over Rooney Mara (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo)

Why it should have gone to Rooney Mara in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

The director David Fincher told Rooney Mara, before she even got the part, that she would have to:

  • learn how to smoke
  • learn how to ride a motorcycle
  • be naked and participate in two rape scenes
  • learn the perfect Swedish accent
  • be alone for an entire year
  • dye and shred her hair
  • pierce her nipple, ears, eyebrow, nose and lip
  • shave her eyebrows
  • study kickboxing
  • brush up on her computer hacking skills
  • learn how to skateboard to get the posture of a 14-year-old boy

But, most importantly, Rooney said in an interview, “I couldn’t imagine my life without playing her.” That really sums up what this whole award is all about.

 

 

 

5. Movie of the Year should have gone to… anyone but ‘Twilight’

movie poster

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why the award should have gone to…

  • Bridesmaids – 90% on Rotten Tomatoes, only original film (not adaptation), nominated for 2 Oscars (Supporting Actress, Original Screenplay), benchmark proving that female driven comedies can be R and raunchy and still make lots of money, placed on multiple critic’s (including my own) top 10 lists of 2011.
  • The Hunger Games – 85% Rotten Tomatoes, well rounded, fresh blood/created the big 3 (Harry Potter vs. Twilight vs. The Hunger Games).
  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt. 2 – 96% Rotten Tomatoes, “deserved” to win for final film, nominated for 3 Oscars (Art direction, Make-up, Visual FX).
  • The Help – 76% Rotten Tomatoes, racially and culturally relevant, nominated for 3 Oscars (Picture, Lead and Supporting Actress) and won 1 Oscar (Supporting Actress)
Why Twilight should not have won…
  • Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn pt. 1 – 25% Rotten Tomatoes, just a filler film/cash cow for the next anti-climactic end to the series, next year probably going to win because it will be the last one in franchise and “deserve” to win, fourth win in a row

 

 

 

 

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Alex Dodson | Bright Futura Columnist

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